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Past perfect or future tense?

July 19, 2006

I have noticed in myself the tendency to glorify the past, make things seem more perfect in my head than they were… and then to fall in love with that image. To take this tale of foolish whimsy to even greater heights of imbecility, I tend to project this perfect past to (an even more) perfect future… the heartbreak and disillusionment this entails, I have only in recent times become aware of its gravity…

We can never be absolutely certain of what the future holds… I wouldn’t want to, that takes away from the magic of discovery… that doesn’t, however, mean that I need not have expectations from the future, how I would like things to be…

I no longer want to see how things go, give it a shot and see if it works for me… and that is in personal life as well as at work. I want to reach a certain place after 2-3 years, see my life take that direction… not drift in the winds, afraid to find an anchor…

I may not live out the 10,000 dreams I had growing up, but I’m not afraid anymore to chase after a few in the fear of letting the other 9,000 odd die…

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5 comments

  1. nice post…
    while reading ur blog it refreshed my philosophy classes…. 🙂


  2. the sepia-tint-syndrome is real. it’s a comfort sometimes, gives you a happy place in your head you can retreat to.


  3. the sepia-tint-syndrome is real. it’s a comfort sometimes, gives you a happy place in your head you can retreat to.


  4. love your writing…its so eloquent


  5. the sepia-tint-syndrome eh ?
    common. most past events have a rosy tint once they pass through the sepia filter of time. leaves you with memories you can run away to [ locations in time space that only exist, safely inside your head ] when you’re scared or tired or irritated or otherwise indisposed. good thing, no ?



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