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To the moments lost in time, to us….

September 3, 2004

***

The arrow curves in and away, along the ridge of the conscious, to settle in dusty corners lying long neglected. In another time and age, the glasses would have clinked and passions risen high…… today, the dreams hide timidly behind shuttered lids and dream of sunsets and love in the moonlight. The conscious shivers, in the despair of hopelessness or the thrill of anticipation we do not know yet. My heart longs in secret for the latter…

***

He knows, does old man moon… but he doesn’t speak our tongue. His ways are numerous and strange, and kindly is his light, even if it is but borrowed for a night or for eternity. The sun shines strong and pure, but I need the cooling touch of something gentler…… the moon is a gentle lover, or so they say. And maybe someday, history will speak of you……

***

A strange silence descends upon my soul…… a faint indistinct murmuring that offers no explanations for its presence, only raising disturbing questions that have no satisfactory answers…… must silence also be stifled by the unnamed fears that consume the living? I want a reason to live—isn’t life itself a reason? If not life, then love…… given a chance, I would take it. But then, love is an everyday decision. I could love YOU everyday, I know……

***

Love is new to me—and adoration is inherent in my love, as instruction is inherent in yours. Is blind adoration so repulsive? Or are the differences so irreconcilable? I have waited an eternity for you—another decade or two will be but as drops in the ocean. Do not ask me to give up hope…… you came as a torrent of rain on the parched deserts of my soul; I may love again someday, when the scabs have fallen away—but I will never fall in love again. You will forever be the man of my dreams, the one man I measure every other man against and come out feeling disappointed. No man will ever evoke the same intensity of passion or the same depths of longing—none will cause my heart to fill with such tenderness, or my eyes with dreams. End my misery—deny me the pain of loneliness, for every breath that bears not your name is a breath taken in vain……

***

There are spaces in time when I step outside of my reality and see my world in a nutshell. In each of those moments, you are the shadow I am seeking, the music whose strains haunt me…… now that I have found you, I am afraid my reality may only be a continuing dream—to lose you would be infinitely worse than losing my soul.

My heart grows heavy now; hush my tears and hold me in your arms—tell me you will love me because you know no other way. If you are afraid of losing me, don’t be…… you are my world, and my love won’t fade with time or rust with age. Each time you wish to spread your wings and fly away, my heart will cry a little more, but the tears won’t drain the limitless love I feel for you—return, when you need me, and I’ll still be waiting—hoping, loving and believing……

***

I feel like pieces of me are crumbling and falling into the dust…… or maybe, just crawling into crevices hidden by the wrinkles of time, where someday, if we are lucky enough, we’ll discover them disguised as treasured memories, like grains of sand metamorphosed into exquisite pearls by the vagaries of time. And you and I, we’ll hold these memories in our palms and blink back the nostalgia waiting to spill out of over-full hearts.

***

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3 comments

  1. It’s not poetry yet it doesn’t sound like prose.It meanders somewhere inbetween in a plane of its own!

    Is it the innocence or Is it age or Is it the fact that when u see raw emotion spilled relentlessly you are forced to stare at it and wonder about it in urself when time has tempered ur passions,mind has taken over ur heart,where reality has limited ur desires and u think its futile to be insane ?

    When u see in someone, the kind of unadulterated unbridled passionate sensitivity and giving for someone,you can’t help but dig deep into your grownup adulterated self to find that dormant volcano inside and jump into its cauldron to feel how it is,if only, for a escapist moment in reality!


  2. Where did u vanish ?


  3. Had gone home for term break.. 🙂 Back now…and looking forward to posting more stuff.



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